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So, today I�learned a valuable lesson about Sam, my funny uncle.� You see, he loves to stick his dick up unsuspecting asses.� Today, he did mine.� And my employer enabled him to� Hooray� As of sometime next week, I�will no longer be enrolled in Carlson School of Management.� I�was enjoying free classes provided by my employer.� This is a good thing.� Then, I�noticed a horrible, scaly intrusion into my paycheck.� Turns out that my funny uncle likes to rub his meatsicle with the money he assumes I�earn - my "free" tuition.� And, due to the many varying (and sometimes sentient) STDs he has, the money in question is no longer fit for use by me so he keeps it.� I went to my employer in the hopes of at least getting a condom for my funny uncle, but instead walked out with a bullet jammed in my temple with the word "Fuck" and a cartoon penis etched into it.

So, yeah, I�can no longer take my free classes because theyapos;re too expensive.� Hooray.� Now for the tricky part; breaking the news to my parents.

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