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I spoke at Choice USAapos;s Southern Reproductive Justice Training Institute on Friday night in Chapel hill, I was talking about accessing abortion and my fund. It was pretty good, very smart group of people. But the BEST part is that I got to meet one of the women who started the Incite Womenapos;s Health Clinic in new Orleans, and also a Reproductive Freedom Community Organizer for the ACLU who is based in Jackson, Mississippi. They were AM-AZHING we talked all night in the ACLUapos;s reps room about reproductive justice and a lot about race (they were both African American) and it is making me think hard core about my own racismapos;s. I am really working/thinking/conceptialzing my racism. I think I havenapos;t really worked on it in a long long time. I think that maybe I will write more about this later.

But, ACLU rep wants to start a fund in Jackson And I met two awesome girls in Atlanta that are seriously thinking about starting a fund I am SOOOO excited. I told them I would help them out in anyway that I could. The one woman from atlanta is a part of Sistersong and Spark (which are both organizations that I am in love with) and whom I also met at the SONG conference in Septmeber, we talked about being doulaapos;s there, and now it is even MORE in my head. I am really hoping to get with the Spark people to see if we can figure something out together to get trained and start programs in our cities/states.

I am really excited with where I am as far as activism goes. I think living in richmond is hard, because I really donapos;t have many friends who actually DO anything, instead who just like to talk about doing something, or make zines and blog entries without actually putting much other effort into their passions. Which, I think zines and blog entries are an amazing way to talk about issues that are really important, and I myself use them as an outlet often, I just wouldnapos;t be happy stoping there, and honestly, itapos;s kind of disapointing that many people I love and respect are. I have been thinking about this a lot, and while, I am certainly not the moral authority on what counts as activism and what doesnapos;t, or what is enough activism and what is not, I really am struggling with my community. I like social networks and find value and importance in them, especially as a queer woman, but I also think that the revolution isnapos;t going to be brought on by only doing what is fun and feels good all the time. I know that not everyone is able to do 30 hours of non paid activism a week, and I wouldnapos;t expect that from anyone, but I think if you can, you should, especially if you talk about politics/the world all the time.

I mean, I feel like I talk about the world and fucked up shit ALL THE TIME with my friends and other people I have interactions with. And yet, the ONLY time I really talk about DOING anything about it is when I am a TRYING to get people to do something with me (or talking about PLANS to do something with people), at an RRFP meeting or when I am talking to anyone who does not live in Richmond. When I go to conferences, I feel so refreshed and excited and PUMPED because I am able to compare what other people are doing in their towns, and really, isnapos;t that the point of a conference, obviously to raise awareness but also to PUMP YOU UP to DO something? I mean, on Friday night, ALL we talked about was what we do or did. Which, honestly I am completely blown away by what some of these women have done, and you know what else? I sometimes forget all that I have done, which maybe I needed to have be told to me, to keep me going. It felt SO good to be in a room of really really active activists, who wanted to do more.

So, I guess that is what is going through my head right now. I think I probably could be perceived as being a know-it-all asshole in the last part of this entry, and right now, I donapos;t care. And, maybe, well no, probably, I donapos;t see A LOT of what goes on in my community, but I do for the most part know whatapos;s going on in my smaller community and I feel like itapos;s important to feel like criticizing the social networks we create is an important part of becoming better as a whole. And once again, I do not under any circumstances, feel like I am perfect, or better then anyone else, but I canapos;t help the feeling of isolation in a supposedly active community of people who want a better world.
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